Cooper Girls Don't Chew Gum

My mom had a way of making sure her three daughters were polite, civilized creatures, at least out in public. Behind closed doors, anything (including bodily functions and bathroom humor) goes. Beyond the front door of our home, there were certain things Cooper girls (my two sisters and I) "didn't do," and one of those things was chew bubble gum. My mom's biggest fear was that we (all three in our teens, the peak of obnoxiousness - we've all been there, and you know I'm right) would be out in public chewing gum in that tacky, chomping, air-headed kind of way that only teenage girls can. Don't misunderstand about my mom. She is in no way an uptight person or unreasonable, strict mother. She was (and is) a very, shall we say, "unconventional" mom in many ways.  This was, afterall, the same woman whose choice saying to us in certain difficult situations was "well, f*ck 'em, and feed 'em beans..." (I'm not actually sure what this advice means, but I'd imagine it's about facing the fact that people will sometimes disappoint you, and that your best course of action is to realize this truth and work to move past it...)

Honestly, there wasn't much that my free-spirited, easy-going mom didn't let her daughters do. Instead, she relied on that sneaky method of exercising trust, therefore, instilling in us a guilt factor that rivals any devout Catholic (we're not Catholic, but she did master that guilt strategy REALLY well!) Afterall, as my mom so cleverly made clear, we were only letting ourselves down if we did something we shouldn't... So, in truth, my sisters and I rarely misbehaved. We didn't have to! Sure we had our drama (three teenage girls with one bathroom...) but, between the freedom (and much respect) Mom gave to us, and in return, the respect and desire of ours to do well, I'd say that my parents had it pretty easy bringing up their small brood. (Clever, clever woman with her child-rearing skills...)

Looking back, although we usually rolled our eyes at my mom's insistence of what the Cooper girls "did not do," like chewing gum, I think there was a lot more to that request than we realized. In my mom's eyes, this simple rule was her way of holding us to a higher standard. I know that she didn't mean it in a way that made us think we were better than everyone else (our bubblegum-popping peers.) Instead, I think it was Mom's way of teaching us the importance of image and self-respect, a valuable lesson to each of our grown-up, professional lives.

Or, maybe I'm assigning too much meaning to this memory... Afterall, I do, now, carry gum in my purse, and Mom is usually the first to ask for some after "ladies club" (any lunch out with Mom, my sisters and Grandma.) But, it's clear that my Mom (in her subtle way) wanted my sisters and me to be respected and to respect ourselves. So, thank you, Mom, from your three proud Cooper girls (none of whom can adequately blow a bubble gum bubble, thanks to our deficiency during the formative years...)