My Gubby's Big Day!

So, my gay husband ("gubby,") Corky, had a birthday not long ago. It has been a challenging year for the boy, and so Corky decided months ago that he didn't want to do anything special this year for his birthday, no party, no dinner with friends, no nothing. However, as his BFF and someone who knows him better than he knows himself, I decided that maybe Corky needed a little bit of celebration to pull him out of his funk for the big day. So, a small gathering of our closest friends planned to surprise Corky at the pub.

The "surprise" went off without a hitch. With a gay favorite, Ryan Reynolds (as the Green Lantern) balloon floating proudly above and an assortment of kid-popular candy strewn across the table, we made a nice little party out of "Pint Night" at the pub. And so, Corky started the night with a bang, and by "bang" I mean shots. Lots and lots of shots! Yes, teetotaller Corky drank enough to make a twenty-going-on twenty-one year-old Communications Major proud. He drank a multiple selection of tequila, Starry Night shots (apparently some mix of Jagermeister and Goldschlager - cringe!) and Three Wisemen shots (a lethal mix of Johnnie Walker, Jim Beam and Jack Daniels - seriously? seriously.) Needless to say, Corky achieved desired results (DRUNK) early in the evening. By the time we left the pub, his speech turned into a Keith Richards/Ozzy Osbourne PSA. He was trying, in his OUTSIDE voice, to make sensible conversation, but what came out was indecipherable slush. So his loving friends politely ignored the fighting urge to laugh uncontrollably (until he wasn't paying attention,) and instead nodded our heads in agreement at everything he mumbled.

You may not feel like it a month or even a week before your big day, but doesn't every birthday deserve a party? Everyone wants to feel appreciated if for just one day a year. And at our little party, a great time was had by all, especially Corky. Well, he thinks he did, as he can't remember anything past 6:30. And the next morning when I informed the poor, hungover birthday boy about what exactly he had to drink, a shocked and confused Corky replied, "Three Wisemen, I only remember two!"

And, come to find out, sometime between birthday shots #6 and 9 that night, Corky treated himself to the biggest birthday gift of all - he bought himself a house! That's right, lesson learned... your real estate agent should never be on speed dial. And although it has more equity than say, a face tattoo, that's one hangover he will be paying off FOR YEARS! Congrats on the new house, Cork, and happy birthday! Next year, the party's at your place.