Grandma's Words, Part 2

After posting "Grandma's Words of Comfort" about my grandma's unfortunate knack for the Freudian slip, a few family members kindly reminded me of a few other classic Grandma moments. Again, my point in sharing is not to embarrass or poke fun at Grandma (well, maybe just a little) but to help describe her as the quirky octogenarian she is and a big part of the long line of eccentric women in my family.

One of the funniest things in the world is to hear my grandma to cuss. Now, on any given day, it's not out of th ordinary to hear the rest of the family demonstrate our four-letter vocabulary, but Grandma usually saves such language for only the most dire circumstances. One such time, was when both of my sisters, Mom and Grandma were on a very long roadtrip to take the violinist sister to school in upstate New York. The smart travelers decided to break up the arduous 14-hour journey with a stop at a motel along the way, however, it was anything but restful for ANY of them. Along with her wacky sense of humor, unfortunately Mom also inherited Grandma's amazing habit of snoring. We're not talking polite, occasional gurgling of the throat. This is full-on lumberjack, aint-no-one-sleeping-through-this log-sawing, and no one does it like Grandma! The next morning, after attempting unsuccessfully to sleep through the racket of Grandma's snores, all three weary travelers got ready to be on their way again. Irritable and exhausted, Mom and Grandma went down to the hotel lobby for the "Continental" breakfast they were promised on a promotional sign inside their room. Minutes later the defeated travelers returned to the room with no success in getting their meal. Mom calmly told my sisters that they weren't able to get anything to eat, because it was only 6:30 and breakfast wasn't served until 7:00. Disappointed and hungry, my "innocent," little old lady grandma then uttered the phrase that still haunts her (and makes us giggle) today. She very unexpectedly said, "And all I wanted was my f*ckin' danish!" Grandma?!! The "f-bomb?"

When they stopped laughing at Grandma's dramatic display, my sister (who seems to have a way with getting through to people,) left the room and quickly returned with enough "f*ckin'" danishes for everyone.

There are also the instances when Grandma utters a cuss word without intending to. One honest mistake is her regularly referring to a nearby restaurant Lotawata Creek, as "LaTwatta Creek." Although an unintentional slip, no one was surprised to hear Grandma turn the name of a harmless family establishment into something of the more X-rated variety. Now, she wasn't born yesterday, and although it's not something you normally hear from an 88 year-old, Grandma does know what that word means. And she was partly embarrassed, but mostly amused, when her mistake in pronouncing the restaurant's name was pointed out to her.

Grandma, Grandma... we wouldn't want you to be any other way. I'm certain that those "traditional" grandmas, the ones that knit and make jam and who tell bedtime stories to their brood of eager grandchildren around the fire (I'm picturing Little House again...) don't have nearly as much fun as we do!